G’day my friends and welcome to another week and another blog post!!
So last week we tackled Uni life, and I have done several school blogs where you can read here https://livingabled.com.au/school-the-good-and-the-just-plain-awkward/ and here https://livingabled.com.au/what-i-wish-i-knew-in-school/
However, I have never really done a comprehensive survival guide for my disabled family!!!
So why not! This one will be short and sweet because well…. the other two compliment this one perfectly.
School Survival part 1: Haters are going to hate!
So this one should be pretty self explanatory!!! In the perfect world, every human being on the face of the earth would all get along with each other. There would be no drama and we could all sing Kumbaya around a camp fire. Unfortunately we do live on earth, and drama is apparently life sustaining for people.
ANYWAY. It is so important to realise that school is just one part of your journey, and it is ok if not everyone likes you! And to be honest you won’t get along with everyone either and that is completely fine.
There will be people within the school community who simply doesn’t understand what disability is, and think it is acceptable to give you a hard time. That isn’t on you or up to you to educate those people. You are young and shouldn’t have to worry about those people.
Words are words. Yes they can hurt at times but more often than not they are just empty words and are a reflection of the person not you.
So, haters are going to hate, just be prepared to stand up for yourself if you need to. Remember you have a voice as well!
Survival guide 2: Speak Up!
This one works hand in hand with my previous point.
If you are struggling. If it is school work, not getting along with the teachers or even the pesky school yard bullies, please speak up.
You don’t gain much by suffering in silence. As members of this disabled community, we get put through the wringer medically, the last thing you need is to go through hard times at school without help.
There is nothing weak about asking for help. In fact, that is the best thing you can do for yourself. Every school has a counselor or a psychologist, make use of that if you aren’t feeling comfy to talk to a member of your family about seeing a Psychologist. Trust me, I wish I had taken parents up on the offer to send my to a Psychologist when I was in school. But I didn’t and I regret it. Do as I say not as I do.
If you are having difficulties with a student or group of them, please go and speak to a teacher or the Principal. If you are worried about them telling the pesky buggers that you dobbed them in, ask that they don’t tell them who said something.
School should be your safe place. And if you need help with study or accessibility definitely go and speak with the Learning Support crew or teachers. School should be as hassle free as possible.
Remember, you do not deserve to be picked on and have every right to stand up for yourself.
Survival 3: Focus on you.
This one should be a no brainer but most times it isn’t. In highschool, there is so much pressure and expectation put on you. Either by parents, teachers or peers.
I was one of those few that caved into peer pressure. I was so desperate to fit in and be with the ‘cool’ kids that I ended up being mean to one of my best friends. They didn’t like him and didn’t want him hanging around all the time, and so because I wanted to be cool, I treated him poorly.
After a while those ‘cool’ people ditched me and started treating me terribly. They said I needed help too much and it was annoying. It certainly made me come to my senses very quickly that is for sure.
However, through all of this my friend never left me alone. And when I apoligised to him for the way I acted he said ‘that is ok it was just peer pressure. I knew all along’.
I caved to peer pressure because I was insecure and didn’t feel confident in myself. There are only a select few who feel confident within themselves in highschool.
What I learnt through it all was, focus on you. Work on your self-worth. That is worth more than its weight in gold.
Once I got stuck into my studies and focused on what I needed to help myself mentally, I started to enjoy school again surrounded by the right people.
Remember, school is to be enjoyed not feared and should not be a matter of survival. It is just one part of your life. You aren’t defined by your grades or experiences in school.
Being unique is normal. We are all unique, some people’s uniqueness is more obvious than others but that is ok. You are you. So go and find that hobby, work on being the best human you can be and let the powers that be look after those pesky bullies.
You are important, valued and loved. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
Till next time,
Rhi.