Self-Esteem 101: Destroy the Gawkers and own being you!

G’day friends and welcome to another week and another post!

How often have you been out and about and feel the eyes of people like magpies staring at you? Or as i like to call them Gawkers. Yeah I am sure all of us have been there.

If you read my last blog you would know i did a 4 day Tony Robbins Seminar. ( if you haven’t check it out for yourself!https://livingabled.com.au/the-tony-robbins-experience/). I learnt so much about myself, but more about self-esteem and how it plays a big role especially when you hit the town for a spot of shopping, clubbing or going out for dinner! And not lets forget that tiny voice in the back of your mind that just wont bugger off like a pesky fly!

So I thought lets travel down that windy road of self-esteem in the realm of dealing with the gawkers of the world, and how to own being you!

Excuse me Gawkers but is there something on my face?

There are so many things that happen when I am out an about.. But probably the biggest thing is the stares of what seems like 100 people. This is something I think we all have experienced at some point these last 2 years. Isn’t it crazy and sometimes uncomfortable?

I have been stared at when out in public my whole life! It is something I unfortunately have to get used to! When I first became aware of it, I wanted to turn into a Turtle where I could just hide in my shell.

Over time, I have learnt the reasons behind the staring, and it is now hilarious rather than uncomfortable.

Let me give you a couple of hilarious examples! We were in Sydney for my Starlight wish. We were on out way back to the car after an amazing stop at Adriano Zumbo’s dessert train. All of a sudden my mum stopped walking and almost did a 180 degrees turn! I asked her what was happening, and she said a older woman and stopped walking and was staring at me. Oh good old Gawkers again. I turned around and sure enough there is was staring like a deer caught in headlights. At the time I was humiliated but now I find it hilarious!

I have caught many gawkers… I mean people red handed glaring at me and I swear they give themselves whiplash when they realise I have caught them.

Trust me there have been many a times where I want to ask if I have something  on my face. I have learnt over time that it isn’t my fault. However, it isn’t their fault either. They haven’t been educated in disability etiquette. In those moments I need to focus on where I am walking or driving so I don’t end up like them, nearly running into polls…. Yes that has almost happened to some people.. and yes I nearly lose my composure each time.

I’ll say it once and say it again: Mindset is key!!!

I am sure  I have spoken about this many and many times. But the key to self-esteem in any phase of life and especially accepting your disability is mindset. I know it is easier said than done.

However, I have learnt a few things on this topic over the years and during the Tony Robbins Seminar.

When it comes to those little voices in your head telling you negative BS, recognise where they have come from. Spend some time doing a deep dive into your mind and really try to figure out where they have come from. You will soon enough learn your triggers. Once you are aware of them, then you can get rid of them over time. Start telling yourself all the best things about yourself or get someone else to say them to you.

It is not your job to educate the world and those gawkers. Unless you want to. But it is not up to you to give the guy staring at you a lecture on disability history. Realise it is not your fault or theirs. You need to focus on being confident within yourself. I know easier said than done. May I suggest cranking up some music if you can or even move around as much as you can and go nuts. Tell yourself 1 thing you love about yourself and go out with your head up! I have done that on numerous occasions these last 2 weeks and trust me it helps.

Tony says to make a promise to yourself that you will not lower your standards or feelings for anyone. That goes for those pesky people out and about who glare as well. Make a promise that no matter what happens you will not let them make you feel crap about yourself.

At then end of the day we have to use what we are given. We experience so much judgment from people. Why do we need to be harsh on ourselves too? It is about time we dress with a purpose, even dress up your Cane, seeing eyed dog, your wheelchair, eye patch, or even yourself! If the gawkers are going to stare, you may as well give them something even more epic and memorable to look at!

I reckon it is time to own are disability and strut like no one’s business. Because it simply not the gawkers business. You deserve to feel good about yourself! Isn’t it time to start living epically??? Go own that life!!!

till next time legends!

Rhi. xo