G’day my friends! I am so glad to see all the responses I have received from my last blog post! I hope that all of you learnt something and can take the jump and holiday Solo if you haven’t yet! Of course a certain world event put a Spanner in the works. On that note I am sure most of us were glad to see 2020 leave! As we are already in March 2021, I thought it would be great to share with you some tips and tricks to own your life again and actually enjoy living!
Own your life: Release control from the unknowns.
I think we have all realised this one by now. With the never-ending world event constantly looming at the forefront of our eyes, I think we have all come to realise that the plans we had for the year and the new decade have literally been thrown out the window, like a suitcase of your ex’s belongings. Am I right?
The first part of 2020 saw me spiraling through a dark period with debilitating anxiety. It got to the point where I couldn’t focus on anything but the loud voices in my head. I felt so out of control, and safe to say I didn’t like that feeling one bit. Anyone who knows me would say that I am a total Control freak.
I like to have everything planned out; from best to worst case scenario. I even used to write out scripts before I would call my Doctor’s office or a Hairdresser! They detailed every little thing that the other person could say, and my responses. You should have seen my notebooks full of ‘scripts’ and different scenarios depending on what I was about to do. Sometimes I think that I should have gone into script-writing with how elaborate my little scenarios were! I couldn’t even call to make a dinner reservation without getting the sweats!
Now let’s be honest, I think we are all control freaks in one way or another. We are human after all! We need to have a direction in life, otherwise we spiral.
In order to combat this little thing of mine, and in turn own my life again, I knew I had some serious work to do. However, I know that I have a lot to owe to my work colleagues! My first day of volunteering, I was petrified to answer the phone. I was sweating and shaking whenever the phone rang. My colleague told me that he would take the calls until I felt comfortable. I missed so many calls until he saw the caller ID of a return client and he looked at me and said I had to answer it. Long story short, that phone call was what triggered me to grow in confidence.
After the first couple of weeks, I was answering calls on the first ring and dealing with volatile and difficult clients. I now can call and make appointments and even holiday by myself without breaking a sweat! It is amazing how letting go of that control of predicting how things will pan out, and being confident in your abilities can make the world of difference.
Sometimes it takes a little bit of hard work, persistence and gentle reminders to get back on the horse and enjoy the journey called life! And let’s face it if we had complete control over life and remove any struggle, our life would not be interesting at all, and where is the fun in that?!
Own your life: Stop and Re-evaluate.
I think the last 12 months especially has forced us to stop and re-evaluate our lives. Once you realise that even though you may not be in control of your life completely like you once thought, you start grabbing every opportunity to see where it leads you.
For most of us, we were living at home 24/7 from March until June or are still currently sitting at home. Every comfort we had in the outside world was ripped from us. We were forced to sit at home and be with our thoughts and emotions. Which for a lot of us is terrifying! But can also be the catalyst for mass change!
If anyone was like me, I ordered tons of junk food and put on 3-4 Kilos! It was my way of coping, which didn’t help. Some of us handled the situation like pros; exercising, meditating, eating right and focusing on being mindful. Others had unimaginable struggles.
Due my disability and the repercussions that can come with falling ill, I stayed home away from work and footy about a week or so before everything shut down. We were cleaning door handles every few hours, had a bottle of hand-sanitiser on the kitchen side, and made everyone who left the house go through the laundry on their return and have a shower. This caused some entertainment and jokes from some people outside of our household, which now looking back i am like ‘meh’ but at the time wasn’t the most helpful thing in the world.
However, being forced to sit with yourself, can be a really good thing. You are shown ways in which you can improve your thought process and even life in general. When we are forced to work on ourselves, we are forced to grow. I think and hope the majority of this world have risen like a Phoenix. We have all gone through the same event, in different ways. However, I hope we have all found a new appreciation for the things we do have.
Own your life: Find yourself one hell of a slogan or quote!
I honestly think that this tip is what most of us do! But for those who haven’t found themselves a good slogan or quote to repeat in their head like a scratched Vinyl, I can tell you it is life changing!
The best example I can give is when I was in year 12. I was going through being bullied and realising more about how my adult life would look like. I was struggling watching my so called ‘friends’ enjoying their lunch breaks and going out of their way to make me feel like rubbish. However looking back on that, I honestly cannot believe that I even put myself in that situation where I had to watch them sit somewhere where I couldn’t get to. I should have just flipped them an invisible bird, and enjoyed a good book somewhere where I couldn’t see them.
But anyway, I decided I needed to figure out a way to get my mojo back and really own life again. So aside from going to Church twice a week through school, I decided to pick a mantra or slogan. When I was trying to figure out which one, I just happened to re-watch the last Rocky movie. In that movie, Rocky gives one hell of a good speech to his son who is excuse filled. I watched that scene so many times, enough so that I could rewrite that speech without guessing.
So, each Monday during my Roll class before my main school day began, I would sit at my desk and write out that speech. It took up a quarter of the note section in my school diary, and each time I went to write in my dreaded homework, I would see that quote.
Now that I have been out of high school for 5 years, I still swear by finding quotes, slogans, mantras, verses, you name it! Anything that makes you feel grounded, calm and contempt in your life is always golden! I would even go as far to say that those quotes gave me a sense of purpose and reasoning for my disability. Even to this day I have quotes on my screensaver on my laptop and phone! I even had them plastered on the inside of my Locker door!
So, I guess you can tell that I honestly will share this tip with anyone. There is so shame in struggling in life, however there is something so admirable and graceful when you can find a way to dig yourself out of that gloomy Grinch like hole, and in turn, own your life once more!
Own your life: Find your way of healthy living.
This obviously is a no brainer. There are articles upon articles of research about the benefits of healthy living. However, I feel as though you need to find what works. Given the fact that I am not in any way in the health industry, I can only speak on my experience. I have always trended towards carbs and shuddered at the thought of any green leafy vegetables.
I have realised that I am a massive emotional and weather eater. In summer I am more than happy to eat salads, but give me a gloomy day and all I want is pasta! When I get stressed, I just want to eat!
However I am blessed to have a Nutritionist and Dietitian who have both helped me in getting my butt back on the somewhat healthy bandwagon. I notice that my body cooperates with me so much better if I am looking after myself and fuelling myself with good food. Even with this 5km fundraiser coming up, I need all the help I can to get this body of mine in good enough shape.
Even away from healthy eating, I try to be active as much as I can. This is simply because I feel more fluid when I move and I notice positive gains when I exercise.
However, I honestly feel as though that healthy living is more than just diet and exercise; it is a way of being and how you look after yourself. So yes, I am including trips to the Day Spa or the occasional bubble bath as healthy living!
So, I really implore all of you to do a bit of soul searching and find the best way to lead a healthy life. Your version of healthy can and will be completely different to the person next door. And that is completely ok. It is all about finding what works best for you to own your life!
Own your life: In the end just do what works for you!
So my dear friends, before I sign off for another week, I just wanted to summarise all of these points by simply saying do what works for you!
This can mean an array of things but find ways in which you can be comfortable in your own skin and not focus to much on comparing yourself to others.
In the disability realm, comparison is always a mood killer. If you are in a wheelchair, you compare yourself to those who can do things that you can’t do.
However, once you realise that the only person that you can focus on is yourself, and making yourself the best version you can, that is truly what will make you stand out.
So go and find that 100 word Mantra, Yoga Mat, bubble bath soap, that glass of Wine or even that strapping PT. Because in the end the power returns to you when you can own your body and your life. So what are you waiting for?! Go out and own your life one step at a time!
Till next time!
Rhi xo
p.s do you need an extra push to think outside the box when it comes to doing daily activities, and own your life? check out my blog post all about how I manage daily life! https://livingabled.com.au/disabled-into-abled-quirky-tips-and-tricks/