G’day, friends and welcome to another week and another blog!
I have been doing a bit of a mid-year goal reset and a little analysis of life this past week, if you haven’t guess by now you would know I am a geek for self development! If you read last week’s post you will know it’s been a rather challenging month personally for me. You have to try and find a new normal somehow, and for me, this week it has been a lot of analysis and reflecting.
Plenty of things stood out to me, but one of the things that stood out most was the concept of letting go of dreams and creating new ones.
It doesn’t matter whether or not you are disabled, you will go through parts of your life where you have dreams and ambitions that change either just by something not really aligning with you anymore, or you don’t have a choice and have to let go of them.
Either way, it’s safe to say dreams are constantly evolving, which I think is so exciting, and I love knowing what people’s ambitions and dreams are, and how they plan to get there.
That thought then led to thinking about my own changing and evolving dreams and ambitions.
Its safe to say I have had to change my dreams or goals as my condition progressed.
As I kid, I was set on an acting career and dancing, not to mention I wanted a horse.
I did drama classes after school for four years and an additional 3 in High school as an elective. I danced for 12 months before it became too tricky physically for me, and I pulled out as my condition worsened and my self-confidence took a massive hit.
I decided not to do drama in Years 11 and 12, not because I didn’t like it anymore, I still absolutely loved it, however senior drama involved costume changes, and I wasn’t able to change out of my school uniform and into a costume and back again, so I felt instead of asking for help, it was best just to put it on the back burner… That and I found another love of Law and was passionate about becoming a Lawyer at the time and helping others, so I decided on doing legal studies instead.
I don’t regret that decision at all, because it set in motion an amazing few years of life lessons and growth that I don’t think I would have had if I didn’t go into law.
I remember I was also set on joining the Air Force and trying to get the fitness test and medical tests waived so I could become an air traffic controller or a law clerk. My Grandfather was in the Army, and none of his grandchildren or children entered into the ADF, and I felt like someone should continue that legacy. However, people told me that I had to be sensible and there was no way I would be able to get into the ADF.
That felt like a massive kick to the guts because I felt as though people didn’t believe in me. But that is further from the truth; they were being realistic, and I was in serious denial.
Now don’t get me wrong here, I am all about breaking barriers and trying to find a way to get what you want in life regardless of your circumstances. However, I do know it is equally important to also be realistic.
Sometimes things aren’t a possibility for whatever reason, it is so important to focus on what is a possibility, even if it is a slight possibility, rather than what isn’t.
That isn’t to say that them saying I had to be realistic didn’t hurt, because, by heck, it did! However, had I tried to pursue that, I wouldn’t have had the experiences I have now.
Another dream I have had to semi-give up on at the moment is having children. My doctors haven’t given me the green light to con and carry a baby myself, and they are pretty stern about me using a surrogate or adoption. Their concerns are my needing to be on bed rest for the majority of the pregnancy, and that would cause harm to me by weakening my muscles and leading to complications for me and my future baby. I haven’t given up that dream yet, though! As I said about slight possibilities, this I feel is a slight possibility that I will be keen to explore when the time comes.
As for new dreams, though, or dreams that have come to fruition. Horses will always be my biggest dream that has been ticked for me. To have the ability or to have found a way to ride horses and to have new dreams of internationally competing is something I hold dear.
I honestly can’t imagine my life without horses, and it is just so crucial to my mental and physical health.
I have dreams about the near future and what it looks like and am starting to put together a little plan, but you will just have to see what it is when it happens! I am not quite ready to announce it just yet! But it will be a big deal when I do, so watch this space!
Dreams will come and go as my life constantly changes, and my disability progresses. However, I promised myself to act on the ones I knew I would regret if I didn’t try and reach them. As I said a few weeks ago, you should never have regrets about life.
I am grateful for the dreams that didn’t eventuate because, in a way, they all directed me to where I am now and what I want going forward. I am beyond excited for the things that are to come. I have no regrets for the things I didn’t do because in the end, I know if I still desperately want to, they are still out there for me to try.
I am using my disability as inspiration, pushing the envelope as much as possible, taking calculated risks, and living abled in my own way regarding my dreams and ambitions. At the end of the day, you only have one life; it needs to be lived unapologetically and in a way you love!
Till next week,
Rhi