G’day my friends and welcome to another week and another blog.
Last week I said there were things on the horrizon health and fitness wise.
One of them is almost finished! On Monday the 31st of January, I will have finished 30 days straight of Yoga! Yoga With Adriene on Youtube does a 30 day Yoga challenge to kick off the year!
Yoga for me has always been a love hate relationship, but after years of trying, this year is the first time I will have completed the challenge!
So I thought as per Living Abled tradition, I would talk about my journey to 30 days of Yoga!
Many Failed attempts of Yoga
I first attempted this challenge probably right after highschool so around 2017. I was so excited I went and purchased my own yoga mat, blocks and strap ready to hit the ground running.
However, I was incredibly naive still about my capabilities and how yoga was going to go, but also I was still dealing with a lot of mental demons about myself.
The first two sessions was fine, I did about 90% of the class and the 10% I just sat and watched what Adriene was doing or would turn the video off all together. And then after the class finished I would call my mother to help me off the floor.
I would get through about 5 days and then quit. Why you may be asking? Well for the simple reason that I hated not being able to complete something. Not being able to follow along with the video completely highlighted my disability and triggered all the negative thought patterns to come flooding back. I felt like a failure and useless, and so I gave up. Clearly I was a completely different person 5 years ago!
Then for the next 4 years I repeated the same thing! Sign up, get a few days in and go nope! I would even watch the class to see what parts I could do and when she would stand up to mountain pose I would stop the video as I thought at the time that my disability didn’t allow me to flow. Oh how wrong I was!!
So after the last four attempts at the yoga challenge, with my pb set at 11 days in a row before I bailed, I held a few reservations when I went to sign up for this year’s challenge. But I really do hate quitting, so I decided last minute I would give it a crack again.
What changed this time around?
The most notable thing that happened this time round was my mindset! I told myself before the first class that I was going to put no expectations on myself. I wasn’t going to compare myself to those that could do the full class.
As soon as I got on the mat for day 1, the vibe felt completely different. There was no tension or judgment and I really enjoyed the class, and I left the mat feeling calm and happy. I even made a deal with myself to do the class live instead of waiting for the video to air completely! Having your first class with 15,000 other people felt incredible! Now how is that for new improvement!
The feeling of having no expectations allowed me to also explore my own way of doing yoga. After 2 years of exercising and trying to find my way to self-love, I was interested to see how that translated on the mat.
When Adriene started doing her flows or downward-facing-dogs, I did my own thing. I brought a foam roller to each class and would roll out my achilles, and do some sitting twists and front folds.
I also challenged myself by trying to flow and for the first time ever, I felt confident enough to go from sitting on my bolster to kneeling and doing a low lunge with my knee on the floor by leaning on my bed.
One class I felt strong enough to go from sitting to kneeling to standing using my bed again to assist me. That class everything changed. I finally felt everything click into place mentally, which was a massive milestone! Going from a girl who thought she couldn’t do something, to a women who just decided to give it a go and see what happens. I was crying happy tears!
I missed a class due to catching up with family and so I was a day behind. Usually the old me would have called it quits because I didn’t like to be behind. However that meant that I could actually preview the class first and to decide if I wanted to do that class or whether my body needed something different.
There were a few times where I didn’t do the class assigned and found a supine yoga that I could do in bed if my knees were too sore or if i just didn’t feel like getting on the ground. Most importantly, I didn’t criticise myself for not doing the classes that were set.
My goals were simple; finish the 30 days, but 30 days MY way. I dedicated my January to movement. Even just learning how to sit and meditate was even rewarding during these uncertain times.
What I learnt most is that I trusted myself enough to do what my body needed to do. I listened to my body and at times found myself feeling sorry for the people who had to do so many down-dogs and planks!
Have I noticed much change physically? Yes! My legs don’t feel as tight. But the biggest change is mentally. Being dedicated enough to see through 30 straight days of movement and yoga and to give myself the grace to be able to do it. I finally got through 30 days after 5 years of trying.
However, the other major thing I learnt was that I should never discredit what my body is capable of doing! On day 26 I dared to try something new. I tried to do a table top position and put weight on my arms. Usually I try that and I end up face-planting the floor as my arms give out thanks to my arms being permanently bent at 60 or 70 degrees.
Try holding your self on your arms when your elbows bent at that amount. It is so tricky! This time I tried it and was able to hold myself up for about 5 seconds. I was so happy, and pretty much spent the rest of the class crying happy tears. For 20 odd years I haven’t been able to be on all fours like that. It was such a big moment.
Yoga is so much more than twisting into a pretzel. It is learning who you are, being one with your body and learning to listen to what it needs, and being gentle on yourself to be able to show up without expectations. You never know just how much you are capable of until you challenge yourself and try something new.
What is my next challenge you may ask?? Well for that you will just have to wait and see
Till next time,
Rhi.
p.s if you after some more journey inspo, check out this blog post about training for a 5km! https://livingabled.com.au/run-for-strength-my-insane-journey-to-5km/